The most common answers to this question are things like money, success, power, and physical attributes like height or build. In the media we see the hottest girls with guys who have influence, like movie stars or high profile business executives. We see them with guys who look like they were engineered from some strangely perfect genetic blueprint: tall, well built, with perfectly symmetrical features. We see them with guys who have their own private jets, garages full of sports cars, and insanely oversized houses.
On the surface it might seem like things such as money, power, and success are the key to getting the best women, but for the most part nothing could be further from the truth. To pull a page from the psychology nerd handbook, correlation is not causation, or just because two things go together, doesn’t mean one is a result of the other. Getting girls is not a result of having money. If you’re not going after the girls you want because you think you need more money, you’re wasting time. Sure, some girls are attracted to material wealth, but why would you want them?
Like money, success won’t get you high quality girls. Some guys think going to school and becoming a doctor or a lawyer or something will get them girls; if you think this will work, save yourself ten years, go out tonight, and lie about what you do. If anything, you’ll do worse than usual. Girls will realize you’re bragging to get with them and you’ll come off as a douche. No one likes a douche.
I’d be lying if I said good looks won’t help you. They will, just not with dating. Being good looking, tall, jacked or whatever won’t do much besides get you laid. If you have no good qualities except for looks, you’ll get some freebies because girls think you’re hot, but they won’t be around for long. They’ll get bored and move on to some other guy. Don’t believe me? Read on.
If it’s not money, success, or looks, what is it?
Girls are attracted to things like social dominance, confidence, decisiveness, and a strong sense of identity, all conventional indicators of success and a high probability of survival. Our success as a species is more due to sexual selection than natural selection, meaning traits that women find attractive are more important than traits that allow you to survive. In the distant past these were the same: things like height and physical strength, but in modern society, social behaviours are more important than big muscles.
Women have evolved a very sharp ability to detect a man’s value. Say you’re the boss of a big company, but your company tanks and you’re not the boss anymore. How would women know? Your behaviour. They would detect the changes in your behaviour, in your confidence, your body language, and the way other men react to you.
These subtle behaviours are called subcommunications, and subcommunications are the primary indicator of a man’s status and survival value. For men, a woman is either attractive, or she isn’t. For women it’s a bit different, a man’s attractiveness changes based on his behaviours and subcommunications. The trick to this is you can have confidence and all those other behaviours without a big house or expensive car, but most guys buy into social media conditioning and only display attractive behaviours when they have things they believe are important. This is exactly what creates the illusion that money gets women, when really it’s the underlying behaviours that go along with the money.
Why is social behaviour so important?
Women are attracted to guys who subcommunicate confidence because it means they’re likely to keep calm and make good decisions during intense situations. They’re attracted to guys who subcommunicate dominance because it means they will likely overcome other men in competition. Basically, women are attracted to men who have traits that will give her potential offspring a better chance of making it in the world.
Now I’m not saying you should go out and try to be dominant in all situations or anything like that, nor am I saying you should give up on having a sweet job or making lots of money. Money is good, but don’t try to make money so you can impress girls; make money so you can do fun things and improve the quality of life for you and your loved ones.
The reason I wrote this article is to give you an idea of what women are really attracted to and why. It’s like the whole catch a guy a fish or teach a guy to fish thing; most of the articles I write are focused on developing key traits in one way or another rather than giving advice for specific situations. Understanding the basics of how attraction works will help you see the underlying reasoning in what I write, and cut through all the stupid shit you see in movies or Maxim magazines.
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