Ever wonder how to transition from casual dating to a serious relationship?
But what if it doesn’t develop naturally – how do you turn a casual relationship into a more serious one?
The best way to answer this question is to study what happens when a relationship naturally grows from something casual into something more serious, and then try to follow the natural progression as closely as possible.
Over the years I’ve recognized several factors that drastically increase the chances of a casual thing becoming a successful long term relationship, and distilled them into a simple series of steps that are easy to follow:
Step 1: Remove Your Personal Obstacles
You might be sabotaging your own relationships without even knowing it. Things like baggage from past relationships, deep personal issues, substance addictions, and financial troubles are all examples of personal issues that can work against you.
You want to get serious, but she doesn’t want to until you get your life handled. Sometimes it’s difficult to figure out what’s holding you back, and having an objective person to help you through this process is massively helpful – click here to check out our specialized coaching.
Step 2: Develop an Attractive Lifestyle
An attractive lifestyle is a well balanced way of living that incorporates a career you’re passionate about, hobbies you enjoy, personal time alone, ample physical activity and an active social circle. What does this have to do with transitioning from casual dating to a serious relationship?
Every aspect contributes in some way to personal and relationship well being. An active social circle eliminates neediness and ensures you’ll never be sitting on the couch together every weekend. Working out regulates stress levels and keeps your body looking good. A well rounded lifestyle is key to having healthy relationships.
Step 3: Communicate With Her
Assuming you and your date are on the same page is a bad idea. While you might be thinking things are going great and continue happily on to date five or six, she might be thinking of calling it quits because you haven’t even invited her over yet. When it comes to dating, everyone has different expectations about when certain milestones should happen.
When you start to feel like there’s a potential future, it’s a good idea to talk to her and see how she feels. A relationship is a two way street, and if you want things to go smoothly it’s important that your vision and her vision of how the relationship will move forward are in sync.
Step 4: Get Serious
People often look at getting serious as some complicated, mysterious thing, but it really isn’t. Getting serious is nothing more than opening up and getting comfortable with each other in a more personal way. After you’ve talked and decided you both see potential, increase the depth of your connection by sharing meaningful experiences together.
As your relationship develops, you’ll gradually hit milestones along the way. Some examples of milestones that will bring you closer together: sleepovers, giving her a drawer at your place, taking care of her when she’s sick, showering together, the first time she takes a dump at your house (for girls this is a big one!), traveling together, and so on. This is how people move from liking each other to loving each other.
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