Aug 282011
 

This weeks guest post is by Emily Walsh. She is a cancer advocate and outreach coordinator for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance. Emily is passionate about helping cancer patients find ways to integrate holistic therapies and address the mental and emotional aspects of the disease, as well as the physical.

Emily’s struggle with cancer has taught her how to lead a healthy, balanced, fulfilling lifestyle, and she has been gracious enough to offer an article passing on some of her wisdom. The lessons she has learned can be applied by all of us to enrich our own lives – check out her site for more life advice by clicking here.

For many people, a cancer diagnosis is the worst thing that has ever happened in their lives. It seems that one minute you are a vibrant and healthy person with a life full of possibilities, and the next you have been given a death sentence. However, you should know that a cancer diagnosis does not have to mean the end of your life! You don’t have to sit and wallow in misery as you deal with your diagnosis and treatment. There are things that you can do in order to make sure that you are living the best life possible, and all of these things start with you and your attitude about yourself.

HealthyWomen.org points out that, while having family and friends around to lend an encouraging word or a shoulder to cry on is helpful, it is also important for you to know what you can do for yourself in order to cope with what happens after a breast cancer or mesothelioma diagnosis. Two of the most important things that you can do to take care of yourself are eating well and exercising. Though food and the gym may be the last things on your mind, it is important to realize that keeping a healthy body will not only help ease the physical pain that you may experience during treatment, but it will also help your mental state by keeping fatigue and depression at bay.

One other thing that you can do after something as seemingly devastating as a mesothelioma prognosis is to make time for yourself. Whether you want to do some quiet thinking, go shopping, or spend time walking around the neighborhood park, it is vital to make sure that you set aside some time to do the things that make you happy. One thing that may help you do that is to create a daily or weekly schedule that will incorporate your favorite activities. Though your family and friends may wonder why they can’t tag along, you don’t have to feel guilty about wanting or needing time to yourself.

It is imperative to remember that, while you need to do things that will keep you healthy and happy, you don’t have to figure it all out on your own. Talking to family and friends who are willing to listen to you can help you to recognize any negative feelings you may have. Furthermore, working with a life coach can help you to understand those negative feelings and get you on the path to a more enjoyable life. Knowing how to manage your time, your health, and your feelings so that you achieve total balance in your life is the key to being happy and staying happy. Find a life coach that will help you achieve the balance you are searching for, and discover how to live a life full of contentment.

 

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 Posted by on August 28, 2011
Aug 222011
 

Live the Dream is a guest article written by my good friend Ivan aka DJ Mex: music producer, DJ, and all around solid guy. He has a post-secondary degree in IT, and after five years of living his passion for music on a part time basis, has quit his comfortable corporate job to pursue his passion full time. Check out his blog by clicking here

One of the most important factors when it comes to improving yourself and advancing in life is realizing your dreams CAN come true. After you really consider your dreams, figure out what it will take to make them happen, and recognize it IS possible to achieve them, you’ll soon realize something scary and even more important: Most people who live their dreams are able to because they made a conscious effort to make their dreams a reality, and rarely because of luck or fortune.

One idea lots of people avoid or fail to understand is anyone can be exactly who they want to be. Instead of accepting this possibility, most people choose to live in comfort, security, and the same old daily routine. While those three things offer much satisfaction to some, they also offer an average life, one in which you will never live out what your mind and body are capable of, but rather only dream about it!

Ever wonder why the mind will rest at ease during the day while we live out our normal, boring day-to-day life, and at night or many times during the day we space out into dream land and imagine a completely different reality? It’s because we crave that alternative reality.

This is why I’m choosing to stop this nonsense and actually realize what I want: for me it’s not to be famous and rich but to make people happy through music. I’ve chosen to make my dreams reality – this month I quit my corporate job and am relocating to the west coast to pursue a career in music. Being a DJ can be one of the most rewarding things, and some of the best times of my life are when I can provide the exact beat at the exact time people want it, to slow the tempo down and watch people magnetically attract to each other, or to speed the tempo up and watch people jump around and get excited.

I have been DJing for about 4 years now; it has been a hobby and is constantly in my dreams. In the past, I didn’t take it as seriously as I wanted to, mainly because I was a corporate sheep. Not sure if I got into my corporate career because it was my choice, or because it’s the “norm”, what everyone does, and how most people choose to live.

So now is the start of a long and tough journey, one which I’m sure will beat me right down to the ground. I will feel happy, sad, mad, angry, violent; sometimes all at once. But the journey will offer the satisfaction that is needed for self-fulfillment.

I definitely do not have the knowledge or experience right now to be exactly who I want to be, but I made the first step – because if you don’t try, you can’t succeed.

Follow my progress on twitter: @djmexiv

 

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 Posted by on August 22, 2011
Aug 152011
 

When you hear someone ask how to get women, the response is always something related to having better ‘game’. Most dating instructors and coaches break it down further, into phone game, day game, club game, and about every other conceivable variation of game you can imagine. While these microcosms are useful for targeting specific problems, like guys who are great until they get a girl on the phone, in my experience more progress is achieved when men work on their overall lifestyle.

Back in the mid 90’s, there was a men’s movement – facilitated mainly through internet forums – involving a bunch of guys who reverse engineered how to attract women. These ‘pick up artists’ (or PUAs) would observe successful guys and study common factors in their interactions, until they could isolate certain things the successful guys were doing. They made it into this wildly complicated process involving routines, lines, formulas, and entire manuals with step by step instructions. Some guys memorized over two hours of rehearsed material.

These imitators completely missed the core essence of why the successful guys do well. Instead of looking at the lives of these successful guys, finding commonalities, and then changing their own lives, they just copied successful behaviours. They never improved themselves; they just put up a façade of being cool and interesting. After they ran out of rehearsed material, the curtains lifted and the girls were gone.

I spoke about this at the Alberta Social Summit, check it out:

 

 

Sometimes these imitator types would get into a relationship, but it would fail miserably because of the gnawing insecurities underneath their polished exterior. Instead of just improving game or social skills to get better with women, I’m suggesting guys build total attractiveness and value as a man. There’s no denying a guy needs to be socially intelligent to do really well, but the key to meeting and getting quality girls is being a quality guy.

A few months ago, a friend of mine contacted me asking for advice. He was an emotional wreck. He slept with 56 girls last year, and he no longer felt any enjoyment from sex. When he felt sad or empty he would call girls over, and this worked for a while, but eventually the emptiness wouldn’t go away regardless of who was around. He couldn’t maintain a relationship for more than a month or two and was on a downward spiral.

If you focus hard enough on social skills, eventually you’ll become insanely good at attracting women. The problem is so many guys build up incredible social skill sets without a foundation, and like anything else not properly built, fall apart. To attract women, it’s necessary to realize why the successful guys behave the way they do. For the most part, it comes down to having a balanced, fulfilling, exciting lifestyle.

You don’t need fancy lines or cold reading skills; you just need to be a well-balanced, socially intelligent guy. Having a career you’re passionate about, developing a style that reflects who you are, being satisfied with your body, building a solid social circle, and doing fun things are all examples of ways you can be a naturally attractive person. All of these things will make you happier, more confident, and open the door to new social connections.

If you’re ready to start making positive changes in your life, contact us for a FREE consultation.

 

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 Posted by on August 15, 2011
Aug 082011
 

Almost everyone has heard communication is critical to healthy relationships. In spite of this, most people don’t make the time to improve their communication skills, nor do they make an effort to understand the different ways others communicate.

Everyone  is aware of the stereotype of men communicating logically and women communicating emotionally, but like most clichés, it is known without being understood. It’s one of those things men agree with when they talk about their women being crazy, and women agree with when they talk about their men being emotionally unavailable. The problem with this cliché isn’t that it lacks valuable insight, but that the insight it holds has been distilled into such an effective, simplistic form and repeated so often it has become trite.

 

Great relationship communication requires a few different things:

 

1) Complete honesty. If you can’t be honest about how you feel, you will never be satisfied in a relationship. Sometimes it’s tempting to withhold thoughts or feelings to avoid an argument, but sooner or later those issues will resurface. Be direct and straight up about how you feel and both people will benefit.

2) Leave negative emotion out of it. Talking to someone when you’re angry or frustrated makes it far more likely you will simply vent your emotions instead of communicating your thoughts successfully.

3) Be a good, receptive listener. Pay attention to what the other person is saying and try to see things from their point of view.

Eventually arguments will happen – anyone who thinks the honeymoon phase will be permanent is living in a fairy tale. Arguments aren’t a bad thing though, and it’s unfortunate our society assigns such negative connotations to arguing. An argument is an opportunity to resolve differing views and improve your relationship, and if you do it properly, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Almost every time a friend or client in a relationship has told me about an argument they’ve had with their girlfriend, the cause was miscommunication due to the differences in how men and women express themselves. Women act out when they feel a lack of passion, love, or interest, but they often say they’re acting out for other reasons.

 

 

The following example demonstrates the difference between a typical response to anger, and an effective one using healthy communication skills:

 

Say your girlfriend has been feeling unappreciated lately, but hasn’t told you how she feels. One day you might be minding your own business, watching your favourite show, and suddenly she will be furious and ask why you spend so much time watching TV. It doesn’t matter if it’s the first time you’ve watched your favourite show in months. She’s angry because she feels neglected, and when she sees you doing other things instead of paying attention to her, she will lash out at whatever you happen to be doing.

It’s easy to see how this situation could lead to a bad argument. The man gets angry because he hasn’t watched his favourite show in months, and believes his girlfriend’s anger is unjustified. The woman will get angry because she interprets his misunderstanding as a lack of caring. In her mind, it’s obvious she doesn’t actually care about him watching a certain show, and he should know that.

To avoid a bad argument and resolve the situation in a positive way, re-evaluate the situation using the three principles listed above. Instead of getting defensive, the man should step back and consider the way his girlfriend is acting. Does it make sense for her to be so upset about TV? Or is there something else bothering her?

If after considering things from her point of view the man determines her emotional response is unjustified, he should communicate this to her. It’s important to leave emotion out of this: saying “You’re being irrational!” won’t get you anywhere, but saying “Hey, what’s the problem? This is the first time I’ve watched this in a while, it doesn’t make sense to me that you’re so angry. Is there something else bothering you?” will calm her down and facilitate a conversation about the real issue.

Want some relationship advice? Contact us to set up a FREE consultation.

 

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 Posted by on August 8, 2011