Mar 302012
 

Arguing isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, it’s a necessary part of a healthy relationship.

There’s a big difference though between fighting and arguing, and it’s important to both know the difference and know how to communicate effectively.

 

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 Posted by on March 30, 2012
Mar 302012
 
If you’ve ever felt anxious about running out of things to say on your first date, or having a bunch of awkward silences, you’re not alone.

 

What to Say on a Date

At one point or another we’ve all worried about running out of conversation, or not having anything to talk about.

I’ve always found this amazing, because most people in the dating pool have upwards of twenty years life experience. How can someone with twenty years of interesting experiences and stories run out of things to talk about in less than a few hours?

The short answer is – you don’t.

Think about how things are when you’re around a really good friend: conversation flows naturally, you bounce back and forth between a bunch of different topics, and no one ever talks about one thing for very long. When you’re with someone new, the social pressure of the situation can cause you to become self-conscious and start worrying about how things are going.

This pressure prevents you from being present in the moment and behaving normally, but there’s a way around it.

The secret to having smooth conversation even when you’re feeling uncomfortable is learning how to use conversation branching to your advantage.

 

When people are having a good time, they naturally branch topics, and if you become aware of how conversation branching works you can do it well in any situation.

What to Say on a DateEverything a person says is loaded with branches that provide you with the opportunity to take the conversation in a new direction.

Say for example you ask a girl what she did last night, and she says “Not much. Went out with some friends then relaxed at home for a bit and watched some TV.

Within her response, there are at least three obvious branches: watching TV, going out with friends, and not doing much.

The key to transitioning from boring fluff conversation like this into fun, more natural conversation is humour and teasing.

 

Here are three possible replies to what she said that incorporate teasing, open up additional branches, and generally move the vibe away from boring conversation and towards either fun, flirty conversation or relating and rapport building.

“Oh no… you’re not one of those Jersey Shore reality TV addicts are you?”

“Where’d you guys go?”  ( wait for her response, then tell a funny or cool story about going out with your friends that relates to her answer )

“Long week? You don’t really seem like the stay at home type.”

All of these responses avoid the interview style trap so many guys fall into, and her answers will allow you to branch out again or continue with fun banter a bit until you find another topic you want to talk about. When you’re good at transitioning naturally from topic to topic you don’t need to worry about what you should say or what topics to bring up; things will seem a lot more natural and you’ll have a lot more success.

If you aren’t naturally outgoing and want to become more social, expand your social circle and learn how to talk to women naturally, click here to check out our affordable one-on-one coaching.

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 Posted by on March 30, 2012
Mar 242012
 

The best way to get out of the friend zone is by staying out of it in the first place. Check out this video on how to avoid being thrown into a girl’s friend zone.

 Posted by on March 24, 2012
Mar 212012
 
As a culture, we are obsessed with normality.

We want to know what’s normal, what’s average, and where we fit along the spectrum. Last month on Google alone there were over TWENTY MILLION people that searched “how can I be normal?” In the same time frame, more than TWENTY FIVE MILLION people asked Google “how do I fit in?

 

I wonder if any of these millions of people stopped at any point to ask themselves how normal is defined.

What exactly IS normal, who decides, and is being normal a worthwhile goal to have?

 

People imitate what they see in magazines and what they see on TV instead of being comfortable with what they think is cool. People look outside themselves to try and figure out how they should act or what they should wear because they’re so concerned about fitting in. I’m not saying you should act like a confused teenager, but if you base your interests, passions, and social group around what other people think is cool, that’s a problem.

 

Why stifle yourself for the sake of fitting in? Stop giving a shit about what other people think, about what side of normal you’re on, and start being yourself.

 

Cool is whatever you think it is.

Who cares what everyone else is doing? Give yourself permission to be who you want to be.

If you see a shirt you like, don’t stop and think about whether or not your friends will like it. Don’t ask yourself if girls you don’t know will look at you and think you’re cool.

Take it off the rack and buy it.

You naturally connect with people similar to you, but if you aren’t being yourself, how will you ever connect authentically with anyone? If you pretend to be something you aren’t, you’ll miss out on making connections with people who actually share your interests, and you’ll end up around people you’re pretending to be like.

Developing confidence and your own sense of cool can be tough if you’re not a naturally outgoing, confident person, so click here to check out our coaching packages and see how we can help you out.

Be comfortable with who you are and own it. You’ll be a much happier, more attractive (and much cooler) person.

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 Posted by on March 21, 2012