Apr 242012
 

You don’t need money to be attractive to women.

 
You don’t need to be tall.

You don’t need to have a magazine worthy body either.

To understand how to be attractive to women, you have to understand how attraction works. Women are attracted to value, and most guys understand this – the problem is they don’t understand what type of value women are attracted to.

Lots of guys try to project the wrong type of value, usually by talking about their high salary job, or by acting in an overly nice way.

How to be Attractive to Women

A perfect example of projecting the wrong type of value is the guy who always ends up in the friend zone. This guy presents little value to a woman in terms of attraction, but lots of value in terms of friendship.

She keeps him around to get rides and free dinners, and he provides her with these things to secure her companionship.

He resents her for not being attracted to him, but he doesn’t realize it’s because he’s projecting the wrong kind of value.
 

Women want social value.

 
For the most part, men spend their lives building professional and financial value, and the reason they struggle with women is because they try to attract them by projecting it.

Any guy who has tried to attract a woman by talking about how much money he makes, his position at work, or his BMW will know most women could care less about professional value.

They want a man who is confident, fun to be around, and easy going. Taking care of your body and making her feel beautiful won’t hurt either.

The socially valuable guy is the one who’s laughing with his friends, telling stories and having a good time, teasing her playfully and making her feel desired.

How to be Attractive to Women

Ever notice how you seem to be more successful with women when you’re out just having a good time? It’s because you aren’t approaching women with a hidden agenda, using lines or stories to get her to like you. In fact, you aren’t trying to get anything.

You’re just in a good mood, spinning girls around, saying whatever comes to your mind, and everything seems so smooth and effortless. You’re GIVING value instead of trying to GET value.
 

Women are attracted to guys who aren’t afraid to put themselves out there.

 
Women are attracted to men who are confident, funny, laid back, and outgoing. The type of man who isn’t shy about expressing his interest and speaking his mind.

Every woman likes being around a guy who feels good about himself and makes her feel good too. Make a conscious effort to develop these qualities, and become the guy with a cool, interesting lifestyle and an attractive personality.

Guys who try to take value are easy to spot. They’re out at bars and clubs wondering what to say, how to act, and generally have no idea what to offer a woman – which is why they feel the need to develop pickup lines and techniques.

If you’re a high value guy, you don’t need to come up with witty stories or lines, you can just approach a woman and be yourself. Value takers typically get frustrated when they’re told to “be yourself” because they haven’t developed an attractive self, and the advice doesn’t work for them.

Find out how to develop a naturally attractive lifestyle, and learn how to be comfortable and confident around women. If you’re the type of the guy who doesn’t know what to say or you feel like being yourself won’t work, click here to check out our personalized coaching programs.

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 Posted by on April 24, 2012
Apr 092012
 
It’s commonly said that if you like someone you should put off having sex with them until you build a non-sexual foundation together, but is this good advice?

 

How Many Dates Before SexFor some people, it’s great advice – but it’s not great advice for everyone. When it comes to dating and relationships, there aren’t a bunch of golden rules that work for everyone. Some people need to establish a strong connection before they have sex with someone, which can take several dates. Others are comfortable sleeping with people they barely know, so first date sex isn’t a bad idea.

How many dates should you wait? As many as it takes for you to get comfortable.

If you’re both comfortable enough on the first date and you both want to do it, there’s nothing wrong with that. The only time having sex will have negative effects is when it’s done before one or both people are comfortable. Sex has earned a bad reputation because lots of people blame their short-lived relationships on having sex too soon.

If two people are genuinely committed to serious dating, they aren’t going to end a potential long term relationship with someone they like because of how soon or how late they have sex. Most couples have sex within the first few dates, and since very few relationships end up lasting long term, it’s easy to see why people would mistakenly associate early sex and short lived relationships.

The idea that being friends first leads to a healthier romantic relationship stems from a misunderstanding of how social relationships work.

 

All social relationships are a constant interplay of comfort and attraction. It doesn’t matter if a relationship starts with two friends who get romantic, or a hook-up that grows into something more; either way results in a romantic relationship and neither route is superior to the other. The picture below helps illustrate how comfort and attraction work together, with different boxes representing the balance of comfort and attraction required for different types of social relationships.

These boxes are an example of how a person’s boundaries might look. Keep in mind these boxes will be different sizes and be in different positions depending on the individual.

A visual of different social relationships

The ‘relationship’ box above symbolizes the amount of attraction and comfort necessary for this person to have a romantic relationship.

It doesn’t matter whether someone is a hook-up or a friend – both have relationship potential. A hook-up would have to build comfort, while a friend would have to build attraction.

 

There is no “right” amount of time you should wait before having sex with someone you really like. It depends on your own personal boundaries, what type of relationship you have with them now, and what type of relationship you want to have with them.

Check out our coaching if you’re frustrated with your dating situation –  we’ll pinpoint the things holding you back and tell you how to overcome them so you can attract and date the type of people you’re interested in. Or, click here to find out more.

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 Posted by on April 9, 2012
Apr 042012
 

Get procrastination under control.

If you’re reading this, chances are your procrastination is more than just an inconvenience.

Like no matter how much you do, there will always be a big to do list of chores, assignments, work, and responsibilities? It can feel overwhelming, and it’s tempting to escape by procrastinating.

How Can I Stop Procrastinating?

The point of procrastinating is to appease our conscience so we can go have fun without feeling bad about it. But there’s a way to go have fun without a guilty conscience and still get everything handled.

It’s a simple method I’ve been using for years now, and I’m amazed I don’t hear of any other people using it.

So what’s my secret?

I organize my tasks in order of urgency and make a timeline with milestones when necessary.

Why is this so effective? Think about it this way:

If you have five days to complete a 1000 word report, you only have to do 200 words per day. Starting a 1000 word report seems daunting; writing 200 words quickly before you go out is easy.

 

Another great thing about this method is it capitalizes on how motivation really works. Most advice I see about motivation is people saying you should repeat mantras, put up vision boards, and leave inspirational notes around the house, all things that don’t address the real issue.

The problem with this approach to getting motivated is it ignores the concept of momentum. If you’re on the couch watching TV, it’s difficult to will yourself to get up and tidy the whole house. But if you make your goal putting away one dirty dish instead of tidying everything, it’s much easier – putting away one dish only takes a few seconds.  Ever been reluctant to start something, but once you do you spend hours on it? That’s momentum.

Once you put away one dish, why not put away one more? Once you start, it’s easier to keep going. Momentum works for you instead of against you.

 

I call these microgoals, and microgoals are what I use to get me out of the absolute laziest moods.Stop Procrastinating, Start Relaxing

Microgoals are so ridiculously simple and require such a small amount of time to do that I feel intolerably bad if I don’t do them.

The trick is breaking a task down repeatedly until it’s the first step is something that requires only seconds to do, and from there momentum makes whatever you’re doing a downhill battle.

Even if you don’t end up finishing what you started, at least you made a dent in it and can go have fun knowing when you come back to you have less to deal with.

Sign up for coaching and start making real progress toward your goals. Focus on doing a bit each day, and you’ll be amazed how quickly you’ll be enjoying the rewards of your labour.

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 Posted by on April 4, 2012