When you hear someone ask how to get women, the response is always something related to having better ‘game’. Most dating instructors and coaches break it down further, into phone game, day game, club game, and about every other conceivable variation of game you can imagine. While these microcosms are useful for targeting specific problems, like guys who are great until they get a girl on the phone, in my experience more progress is achieved when men work on their overall lifestyle.
Back in the mid 90’s, there was a men’s movement – facilitated mainly through internet forums – involving a bunch of guys who reverse engineered how to attract women. These ‘pick up artists’ (or PUAs) would observe successful guys and study common factors in their interactions, until they could isolate certain things the successful guys were doing. They made it into this wildly complicated process involving routines, lines, formulas, and entire manuals with step by step instructions. Some guys memorized over two hours of rehearsed material.
These imitators completely missed the core essence of why the successful guys do well. Instead of looking at the lives of these successful guys, finding commonalities, and then changing their own lives, they just copied successful behaviours. They never improved themselves; they just put up a façade of being cool and interesting. After they ran out of rehearsed material, the curtains lifted and the girls were gone.
I spoke about this at the Alberta Social Summit, check it out:
Sometimes these imitator types would get into a relationship, but it would fail miserably because of the gnawing insecurities underneath their polished exterior. Instead of just improving game or social skills to get better with women, I’m suggesting guys build total attractiveness and value as a man. There’s no denying a guy needs to be socially intelligent to do really well, but the key to meeting and getting quality girls is being a quality guy.
A few months ago, a friend of mine contacted me asking for advice. He was an emotional wreck. He slept with 56 girls last year, and he no longer felt any enjoyment from sex. When he felt sad or empty he would call girls over, and this worked for a while, but eventually the emptiness wouldn’t go away regardless of who was around. He couldn’t maintain a relationship for more than a month or two and was on a downward spiral.
If you focus hard enough on social skills, eventually you’ll become insanely good at attracting women. The problem is so many guys build up incredible social skill sets without a foundation, and like anything else not properly built, fall apart. To attract women, it’s necessary to realize why the successful guys behave the way they do. For the most part, it comes down to having a balanced, fulfilling, exciting lifestyle.
You don’t need fancy lines or cold reading skills; you just need to be a well-balanced, socially intelligent guy. Having a career you’re passionate about, developing a style that reflects who you are, being satisfied with your body, building a solid social circle, and doing fun things are all examples of ways you can be a naturally attractive person. All of these things will make you happier, more confident, and open the door to new social connections.
If you’re ready to start making positive changes in your life, contact us for a FREE consultation.
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